this is an edited version of the audio transcript, not word for word.
parts one and two
as i think back on all the experiences of my life, i’m looking at my refrigerator. there are note cards on the door, held up by magnets, and i have lived in ten different states. the first card has the words “savor moments more” on it.
i was thinking about that this morning while having my coffee. i’m trying to figure out the best way to archive things in my life. i think i have it down.
i’m sharing this partly because of something i’ve talked about often. many of us are interested in our genealogy and our ancestors. maybe you do low-key research, or maybe you’re the family historian. either way, we wish we had audio and video of our relatives. yet many of us still aren’t documenting our own lives for future generations. that means the grandchildren, the nieces and nephews, and the children. they’re going to be the next historians and genealogists of the family. they need that information so they can keep collecting the legacy, because i think in that is power.
this piece is free. my other pieces are paid and live in my ko-fi shop. some are open to everyone, and some are only for monthly members: ko-fi.com/courtneycrosslin
there’s a saying that goes something like, “if you don’t know where you came from, you don’t know where you’re going.” of course there’s some nuance to that, but consider it for a moment. if you’re someone doing the research, how and where are you documenting parts of your own life?
there are many ways to do it outside of social media. social media can be here one day and gone the next. i think it should go beyond images, too. it should be audio and video and you telling your story. otherwise we can only make assumptions about an ancestor, or an idol we look up to. we only heard their stories through a relative, not firsthand. so who’s a better person to tell your story than you?
part two
so i’m back with part two of savoring more of those moments and documenting our own stories.
as i’m archiving everything and recollecting, i have moments where i just have to laugh. i’m going about my day, and i chuckle and think, “oh my god, i forgot about that moment.” i have a habit of messaging a friend to say, “remind me to tell you the story about such-and-such.” she’s another wild woman. i’d say i have maybe five women in my life who have wild stories, and i’m just like, wow. i thought i was a lot.
so i’m looking at these note cards. there are so many experiences where i was in it and thinking, this is absolutely crazy. i just wanted to get out of it as quickly as possible.
now i really understand when elders say that if they could go back, they wouldn’t necessarily change anything. think of the lack of knowledge, wisdom and experience, and the ignorance of it all. i don’t mean that in a negative way. without it, we wouldn’t have developed into the people we are today. it moved us from one phase to the next.
but i wish i had been able to collect the essence of those moments. that’s what i’m looking for. i documented a lot, but there are so many things i didn’t document. i mean the essence of the day, what the weather was like, what i ate that day. i’m not a big journal person. i don’t journal a lot, and i don’t have a diary. i’m sure some people do.
so beyond the pictures and videos, there are so many different ways to do this. maybe think about having some kind of keepsake.
i’m thinking about my grandmother, and some of you may recognize this. as a side note, a few weeks ago i saw someone on social media ask, “why is it always big mama’s house?” why does everyone say they’re going to grandma’s house, even though papa lives there too? i thought that was funny, and i sent it to my mother. so when i say my grandmother’s house, it was really my grandmother and grandfather’s house.
my grandmother collected obituaries. my grandfather built a beautiful bookshelf wall unit that covered two different walls. below one of the shelves was a small drawer, almost the perfect size for an obituary. that’s where she kept them.
i never really thought about what was in that drawer. then i ended up living with my grandmother and my mom for a while in rural america. when she could no longer walk easily, she stopped going to funerals. but someone from the service would always come by and leave an obituary with her. they’d talk about the service and the life of the person. then she would read the obituary from front to back, and she may or may not comment. then she would shuffle over and put it in the drawer.
the drawer was already full of obituaries. i’m getting so emotional thinking about this, because it’s just these little things. but they were in chronological order. the oldest funeral was at the bottom, and the person who transitioned most recently was at the top. she’d put it in the drawer, close it and go on about her day. as her legs started to deteriorate, she would tell me to go put it in the drawer. i would, and i never thought anything about it.
then she passed. a year or two went by before my mother was ready to start clearing things out. when we got to the drawer full of obituaries, it was like, wow, this is history. there were obituaries from the 70s, and i’m sure she had more somewhere else. it’s also the magazines she collected, ebony and essence. i have those from the 70s. so many memories.
so it’s the little pieces, the keepsakes, and how we connect them with our memories. that’s without being hoarders, of course. i think my generation and younger lean more minimalist. many elders kept things from a scarcity mindset, from the depression and things of that nature. people in my mother’s generation picked up that habit. many of us in my generation and younger have parents who collected a lot. that’s what they saw their own parents do.
but we came up in an era of being overstimulated by technology. technology overstimulates us. so do material things, the items many would call junk, stuff that isn’t a necessity. sometimes it’s easier to get rid of the stuff than the technology. even younger generations may not have the extra resources to buy a lot of extra things. i’m sure that will shift at some point.
this is kind of a ramble, and i hope it hits with someone. think about what archiving memories looks like for you. make it something that aligns with future technologies and is simple for the next generation. that’s going to require future thinking. maybe it looks like collecting things, then going through them once a month. you decide what you’re keeping for that month’s archive, like a time capsule.
my name is courtney, also known as sisi in brazil. this is part two of what i think i’m going to call “savor moments more.” you can find out more about what i do on my website at faafo.app. i’m currently located in the state of bahia, brazil.
you just read a free piece. the rest of my stories and teachings are paid. some are for everyone, and some are only for monthly members. find them in my ko-fi shop: ko-fi.com/courtneycrosslin